Spring!

Unseen Buds
Walt Whitman

Unseen buds, infinite, hidden well,
Under the snow and ice, under the darkness, in every square or cubic inch,
Germinal, exquisite, in delicate lace, microscopic, unborn,
Like babes in wombs, latent, folded, compact, sleeping;
Billions of billions, and trillions of trillions of them waiting,
(On earth and in the sea--the universe--the stars there in the
heavens,)
Urging slowly, surely forward, forming endless,
And waiting ever more, forever more behind.

O sweet spontaneous
e.e. cummings


O sweet spontaneous
earth how often have
the
doting

         fingers of
purient philosophers pinched
and
poked

thee
,has the naughty thumb
of science prodded
thy

      beauty      .how
oftn have religions taken
thee upon their scraggy knees
squeezing and

buffeting thee that thou mightest conceive
gods
       (but
true

to the incomparable
couch of death thy
rhythmic
lover

        thou answerest

them only with

                        spring)

The Trees
Philip Larkin

The trees are coming into leaf
Like something almost being said;
The recent buds relax and spread,
Their greenness is a kind of grief.

Is it that they are born again
And we grow old? No, they die too.
Their yearly trick of looking new
Is written down in rings of grain.

Yet still the unresting castles thresh
In fullgrown thickness every May.
Last year is dead, they seem to say,
Begin afresh, afresh, afresh.

“Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”

These are the words that have been ringing through my head all day, and apparently the answer is Yes.

and yes I said yes I will Yes.

Do I dare turn down a job offer (well, an invitation for an on-campus interview anyway) in this job market (academic math jobs)?

Yes.

In this job market in this economy?!?

Yes.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

From The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
By T. S. Eliot

The approaching end of my PhD experience is an opportunity. I have been travelling this path with little regard to my priorities. This is a chance to reshape my life to something more in line with what is most important to me. One of my top priorities is being close to home. And so, Yes, I dare (in spite of the peer pressure) to reject an opportunity in the midwest. Even if that means jettisoning academia. Even if that means unemployment. Maybe it's time for something completely different anyway. Or maybe I'll get another academic opportunity somewhere I can actually, in my heart, call home.

Another top priority, by the way, is Go, which has been more or less on hold for far too long. Speaking of which, I go to Amsterdam tomorrow to visit Guo Juan!